If I could share just one thing, one teaching, one insight – it would be this one on resistance. Because this is all you really need.
Resistance is the core of all struggle, all suffering, and all pain. In fact, resistance IS pain. When you feel a painful emotion (e.g. shame, guilt, fear…etc.), it is not painful because the emotion itself is painful, but because you resist it.
Firstly, what do I mean by resistance?
Resistance is the opposite of acceptance, allowing and surrender. It is a rejection of the present moment – whether that moment is an emotion or feeling, a situation or dynamic with another person, or a thought or belief about yourself or the world.
We all know what this feels like, because the vast majority of us has been taught to resist. We are taught to suppress our emotions rather than feel them fully, to escape or avoid discomfort rather than to realise that is only the sensations and meanings we have about all situations that create discomfort.
Resistance feels like contraction, a flattening and shrinking, and a wall around your heart.
Let me explain further…
Resistance sounds bad, but it is not bad in the sense that you should fear it. All resistance is, is a survival mechanism, a learned-behaviour that we all use to in an attempt to self-preserve. The issue is though – resistance doesn’t actually help.
Resistance is a rejection of the truth of Who You Are – which is pure and unconditional love. When you resist the present moment (which I remind you, is all there is), you resist YOURSELF. Because technically, in your world, YOU are all there is. So ALL resistance directed towards ANYTHING, is simply a resistance of your SELF.
So what happens when you resist yourself? You experience pain, discomfort, contraction, smallness. It separates you from the REAL you. It makes you believe that you are powerless, small, unworthy, not good enough, when really the truth is that you are limitless, expansive, and love.
In other words, all that your painful emotions are, are simply a resistance of love. When you feel fear, you are resisting love. When you feel anger, you are resisting love. When you feel shame, you are resisting love. Love is your natural state.
Your happiness ceiling and how you block positive experiences
Another reason why noticing what you resist is important is because your ability to experience positive emotions or states (joy, excitement, passion, happiness, love etc.) is DIRECTLY PROPORTIONAL to your ability to experience painful and uncomfortable emotions or states (fear, sadness, guilt, shame, anger, envy, resentment etc.).
The extent to which you are able to allow, accept, and surrender to your pain is the extent to which you are able to let it go, and therefore allow in positive emotions.
And the extent to which you allow positive emotions is the extent to which you will allow positive experiences – aka your manifestations.
If you have tried everything to manifest what you want, but still get no results, it could be simply that you aren’t able to receive, because you aren’t allowing yourself to experience that level of joy and love that will come with your manifestation. And you don’t allow that joy, because you don’t allow yourself to receive yourself FULLY. Receiving yourself fully means to accept ALL of you, negative and positive emotions included.
Manifesting or deciding you want to feel good (happy, joyful, excited etc.) is not about making it happen. It’s not about forcing joy or excitement, or changing things in your external reality to improve how you feel, or “increase your vibration”. It simply doesn’t work that way, because you have a cap how much positive experiences you can allow in anyway. In fact, the more you try to force yourself to be happy, the more resistance you create.
Perhaps you’ve even experienced first-hand, that telling yourself “I just need to get my shit together, tomorrow I’ll wake up at 7am and do my morning routine” or “that new bag/car/house/partner will make me happy” doesn’t really work. It’s not about what you do.
Maybe you’ve also experienced the relief of simply crying it out when you experience emotional pain, or even a friend comforting you and allowing you to cry, and then cracking a joke and everything feels lighter. You didn’t “try” to be happier in that moment, but somehow, someone giving you the space to feel makes it lighter.
So how do I stop resisting?
If you’re beginning to see yourself in these words and sold on the idea that it’s time to let go and surrender, rather than resist – I’ll begin by saying it’s very simple. The less complicated you can make it for yourself, the better. So simply put: any overthinking is resistance, any attempt to release more is resistance, any trying or forcing to stop resisting IS resistance.
If resistance is a rejection, a pushing away, a contraction, then non-resistance is an allowing, an acceptance, an expansion and surrender. Allowing will feel like relief. You may not feel that relief right away because it may take some time for you to really allow yourself to allow, but with practice, you’ll get better and better. And it’s certainly a tool that will improve your quality of life a loooooot.
The next time you feel a flood of painful emotions or notice yourself overthinking, apply these steps:
- Notice what you’re feeling. Become aware of the chaos and intensity that is happening within you. Don’t get preoccupied with identifying what you feel, what it means, or why you feel it. Just notice that you are feeling something, and that it’s painful or uncomfortable, and that means you are resisting.
- Breathe deeply a few times. Relax your body as much as you can.
- Place your attention on the SENSATION in your body.
- Let go of your thinking. You can notice your thoughts, but try not to attach to them or follow the loop. If you notice yourself getting in your head, just bring your attention to the sensation of the emotion or feeling.
- Don’t rush!!! Don’t try to make yourself stop resisting or force anything (this IS resistance). You will know how allowing feels like once you do it, so just breathe and bring your focus back on the sensations.
- Stop making sense of what’s happening or intellectualising. Like your thinking, your mind will try to tell you “breathe, do this, do that, let go, release”, but the actual allowing is not mental at all. Allowing happens in your being, not your doing. It will feel like peace and calm, like expansion. So don’t buy into your mind and what it tells you, return to the SENSATION.
That’s all! It all comes down to placing your attention on the sensation, and that’s it. No mental intrusions, not intellectualisation, no suppression or avoidance, just BE with YOUR SELF.
Just give it a try, you have nothing to lose here. And I’m sure you will begin to quickly notice how magically this works. It truly changed my life, and I’m sure it will change yours.
If you’re interested in deepening your mindset + manifestation journey, if you’re ready to make some big changes, if you have big dreams that you want to make a reality – you’re in the right place
My main offerings are one-on-one coaching programs, you can find out more here: https://yanazemlycoaching.com/work-with-me
If you’re not super sure yet, feel free to reach out:
Via email: yana.zemly@gmail.com
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Otherwise, I update my blog weekly with new insights on mindset & manifestation to support you in your journey of creating your dream life. Thank you for being here.
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