“Feminine energy” has been extremely popular in the media lately. A quick search on YouTube and you see thumbnails with girls in their robes or flowy summer dresses, hair perfectly pinned in a claw clip, face masks and glowy skin, “habits” to make you “magnetic” – you know what I mean… It’s all great, it’s all beautiful, but the irony is – the goal of becoming more feminine, the act of defining the feminine with a specific appearance, and the focus on behaviours and habits to make you more feminine is all inherently masculine.
Do we really know what it means to be truly feminine? It seems that the masculine mentality is so deeply ingrained in who we are that the only way we operate is from that solution-oriented, need-to-change lens. In order to truly understand the divine feminine, we must embody her completely. We must be open to a radical transformation, not only in the way we behave in the world, the clothes we wear, the self-care practices we do, but more importantly – in the way we perceive ourselves and the world around us.
True femininity is deep wisdom, knowing and connection to ourselves and Who We Really Are.
Divine Feminine & Divine Masculine
Just like the energies of yin and yang or the differences of the subconscious and conscious, the feminine and the masculine have nothing to do with gender or sex – rather, they are descriptives for two innate forces that balance our universe. Although for the most part, women feel more connected and drawn to being in their feminine energy and men feel better in their masculine energy.
As a society, we are generally more personally acquainted with masculine energy. The masculine is the ‘doer’, it is an energy that is outcome and goal-oriented, that develops solutions, that is logical and linear. The masculine builds and accomplishes, it is productive, it thrives in challenge and competition, then finds satisfaction in success and achievement.
The feminine, on the other hand, is presence and ‘being-ness’. It is feeling-oriented, it is creative, it is in constant flow and evolution. Feminine energy contains, transforms, and magnetises, it thrives in safety and pleasure, it projects beauty and revels in the pleasure of the present moment. The feminine is typically described as rest and non-action, and reduced to self-care activities, however, this undermines the true power of divine feminine energy.
True feminine energy is extremely powerful, despite being subtle. It cannot be seen or experienced like the masculine (the masculine boasts material possessions and external success), rather it is deeply felt through emotion, the body, and connection with the sacred. The feminine is the zero-point, it is where ideas are inspired and magic is drawn from, to then be birthed into the masculine energy and presented in the material, 3D world. Without the feminine, the masculine could not create. Just as without the masculine, the feminine would remain unmanifest and we would not have our physical reality.
Neither energy is “more important” than another. Rather they complete one another. The masculine is the ruler of the seen, the feminine is the ruler of the unseen. The masculine is conscious, the feminine is subconscious. The masculine is light, the feminine is dark. Together, they create harmony, but as soon as one is over-valued or over-emphasised compared to the other, dissonance ensues.
Our Society’s Obsession with the Masculine
We live in a society that prioritises material accomplishment above all else. If we do not have anything to “prove” our success, we feel unworthy. This reliance on the external inevitably creates a burnt-out, productivity-addicted, overly-competitive hustle culture with no room for feminine energy – when the truth is, the feminine is what we are really craving and what we actually need to balance out the extremely masculine approach.
The issue with our society is that it teaches us to disconnect with our feminine energy by telling us to focus on “real” goals, to prove ourselves with our grades and achievements in childhood and our titles and promotions in adulthood. Of course, in order to compete with everyone else, to survive, each of us feels the pressure to keep up. And the cycle continues.
Tapping into YOUR Feminine Power
As the ruler of the unseen, the feminine is not meant to hustle and work hard to build the seen – this is the job and the gift of the masculine. Instead, the feminine’s true power comes from her connection to Source energy, to the Creator.
This is the truth that you are not told about your feminine energy: you are a magnet. You draw in to you everything that you need, without really having to “do” anything. You literally attract what you need, when you need it. And the key here is “when you need it” – because we may want a lot of things but it is not always what we need. We may also think we need something now, feel rushed and behind in life, but really, it may come later when it is actually, truly needed.
Now I know what you’re thinking: “well if that is really true, why do I keep attracting bad people/circumstances?” or “I really need money and you’re telling me that I don’t need to work for it? Yeah right” or “Nothing good is happening in my life, I need so many things but I’ve always had to work for everything”.
I know, I know. I really do understand you, I had the same questions and felt the same frustration, and it’s totally valid. “How else would I survive?” For a long time, I believed that I had to do everything to make everything happen. I thought that if I don’t do it, no one else will. If I don’t figure out the next step, I won’t get anywhere.
Eventually, I began to question if there could be a different way to live. I began to heal, to work with energies, to embrace my emotions, to understand the subconscious mind, and my relationship to my feminine energy. Over time, through commitment to the Truth, to healing, to love, I shifted my entire mindset, identity, and reality. The way I lived a year ago versus the way I live now cannot be more vastly different. A year ago, I was already deep in my healing journey, but even 5 years into it, I didn’t really get it. I was still anxious, fearful, stuck. It took me a really long time to really understand manifestation and feminine energy and the things that actually work – but the truth is, it didn’t have to. Now, looking back, it was all much simpler than I could have ever imagine. And look, simple doesn’t mean easy. It doesn’t mean that it won’t feel challenging. Because any transformation is challenging, change is scary for us, trusting in a world that does not yet seem to exist can feel isolating – but it is always worth it.
Here’s the trick that set apart the 5+ years of healing and trying to manifest versus the last year for me: commitment. Commitment to embodying your divine feminine energy fully, commitment to the reality you deeply desire to experience, commitment to yourself, commitment to Truth.
You cannot be half in, half out. You cannot dip your toes into feminine energy and hope that will be enough. You cannot avoid the anxiety in your body by putting on a pretty dress. You cannot hide away all the ways you harm your body and mind by taking a warm bath, lighting a candle or saying a positive affirmation. You cannot ask the Universe to help you and then control everything out of fear that things will go wrong.
Let me be clear – it does not mean that you must always “have your shit together” or always seek perfection. It does not mean that you shouldn’t do the self-care practices or wear the nice clothes. It does not mean you cannot have bad days or feel deeply. What I do mean is become radically honest with yourself about Who You Are now and Who You Want To Be. Then accept who you are now, and from that unconditional love and acceptance, choose who you want to be.
Maybe this looks like working on a project for 10 minutes, realising you’re tired, and rather than forcing yourself to complete the task, you allow yourself to go for a walk. Maybe it looks like feeling intense shame and anxiety about how you acted at a party, and instead of judging yourself, you sit with the pain in silence and get curious about where it even comes from. Or maybe it looks like realising that who you are now is really not someone you would like to be and letting yourself create a completely new identity for yourself that you prefer. Or maybe you realise weeks after making a commitment to your feminine energy, that you were completely dishonouring it, but instead of resenting yourself or thinking of ways you should have been better, you accept that forgot and try again.
The point is – everything can be done from your Truth and in connection with your feminine energy, or it can be done out of avoidance, desire to escape or avoid, or not feeling good enough. Only you can know what that looks like for you, in your heart – but generally, here’s some questions to ask yourself:
- Are you in acceptance or resistance/rejection?
- Are you allowing yourself to see who you are now, or are you running from who you are out of fear, pain, shame?
- Are you honouring your commitment to who you want to be, or are you falling back into who you were?
- Are you choosing to trust, or are you buying into your self-doubt?
Remember, there are no mistakes. The essence of feminine energy is integrity and acceptance. Divine feminine energy leaves no room for self-abuse, self-judgement, or self-pity. There is always an opportunity in every moment to re-commit.
Because here’s the thing – the only reason you are not harnessing all of your powerful and magical feminine energy right now is literally and simply because you were not taught to. The society you grew up in emphasises the masculine, so how could you? Chances are your parents or caregivers told you that you must go to school, get good grades, go to college, get a good job and then you’ll live a good life. But all these milestone-based rules are inherently masculine.
The way to your feminine is to teach yourself to be it. It may feel challenging at first, but so is walking, so is riding a bike, so is learning how to play the piano. It is a muscle, a skill, and it won’t happen overnight, but if you commit, it will transform you life.
If you’re interested in reconnecting with your divine feminine energy and transforming your current reality into a life of ease and flow, check out my one-on-one coaching program, Divine Feminine Manifestation. Looking forward to meeting you and supporting you on your journey to creating your dream life
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